I’m So Tired—Fugazi
#365Songs: October 27th
Out here I can barely see my breath
Surrounded by jealousy and death
I can’t be reached, only had one call
I’m so fucking tired.
I’m not a particularly literal person, which I hope is evident in both my writing and in conversation. I think in metaphor, build conceptual foundations for the stories I tell. But damn, for today at least, I need a break. I’m so tired. It’s just that simple, that literal. We’re all tired. Too much all the time, from all directions.
No matter what’s going on in your life right now, as an American, there’s a high degree of anxiety under the surface of everything. When asked about anything in the future, I defer, say, “I can’t see beyond November 5th.”
Those who suggest that there’s more to life than politics have historically been somewhat correct — depending on your degree of privilege. But this isn’t then.
In one of the most chilling political speeches in American election history, our national treasure Michelle Obama outlined the stakes unlike anyone ever has, staring straight at the camera with fear-induced vibrato:
“If we don’t get this election right, your wife, your daughter, your mother, we as women will become collateral damage to your rage,” Obama said. “So are you as men prepared to look into the eyes of the women and children you love and tell them you supported this assault on our safety?”
And that’s what happens to women’s rights if Trump wins.
I’m so fucking tired.
Dragged underneath, separate from you all
this time I’ve lost my own return
But how about for the queer community? He’s promised to cut funding for “any school pushing critical race theory, transgender insanity, and other inappropriate racial, sexual, or political content onto the lives of our children,” as well as “defining trangender out of existence.” But there’s more. He also promised that, “if reelected, his administration will rescind federal policies that prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, and will assert that federal civil rights laws don’t cover anti-LGBTQ discrimination.”
So basically, he’ll normalize hate crimes, support the banning of empathy-building books and education, and essential health care for gender affirming care. And, after he likely gets two more Supreme Court appointments, they’ll go after Gay Marriage next and likely ban single sex parents from adoptions.
I’m so fucking tired.
In spite of everything I’ve learned
I hid my tracks, spit out all my air
And how about those of us who have publicly criticized Trump or live in hyper-progressive cities like Berkeley, where many of the ideas that fuel progressive politics are born. He said, “I think the bigger problem are the people from within. We have some very bad people. We have some sick people. Radical left lunatics. I think it should be very easily handled by, if necessary, by National Guard, or if really necessary, by the military, because they can’t let that happen.”
That’s likely you, and me. In a Fascist regime, where anyone who isn’t Party-aligned is the enemy. If he’s willing to threaten it when he has no power, imagine how far he’ll go once he does.
Slipped into cracks, stripped of all my cares
I’m so tired sheep are counting me
I’m so fucking tired I don’t even have the energy to keep going, as the volume of threats to our Democracy and existence are too many to count, too much to write, impossible to process. If you don’t understand the stakes at this point, it’s time to look in the mirror and ask yourself some hard questions. If your world is so small that you know no women, queer people, Liberals, journalists, academics, entertainers, or educated Americans, then you’re not reading this post because you’re at the Madison Square Garden Nazi rally today. As I write this post, speakers have already called Kamala “the antichrist” and “the devil,” said that “her pimp handlers will destroy our country,” called Hillary Clinton a “sick son of a bitch,” accused all immigrants of being “fucking illegals,” referred to Puerto Rico as a “floating island of garbage,” and yes, even made a joke about how Black Americans cut “watermelon instead of pumpkins.”
This is not a rally, it’s a rage room with one intent: to incite violence, an exponentially larger January 6th in every MAGA-filled swing state on election day and beyond.
I’m so tired, but I also can’t sleep until this nightmare ends. I’m so tired I can’t even fathom what happens next, if he wins. Where do we hide, what do we do? And if he loses, half of you won’t believe it, so what then? You can’t heal until the pain goes away, you can’t heal if you don’t acknowlege the illness.
No more struggle, no more energy
No more patient and you can write that down
It’s all too crazy and I’m not sticking round
~
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