Young Lion—Sade Adu
#365Songs: October 25th
Young man
It’s been so heavy for you
You must have felt so alone
The anguish and pain
I should’ve known
With such a heavy burden
You had to carry all on your own
Forgive me, son
I should’ve known
I was watching a baseball game with my kid, who turns 14 in a few weeks, and a Trump ad came on. In Berkeley of all places. The ad ends with the voiceover line, “Kamala is for they/them. President Trump is for you.”
I looked at him, speechless. He looked at me, speechless. This child, who I hope knows can say anything to me, who can be whoever he needs to be, who can express himself in whatever way is most honest to his inner truth. Fortunately, he’s growing up in a place where that’s possible, where he’d be safe to express himself in any way he chooses.
That’s not true in most parts of this country. That wasn’t true for me, in Cleveland. Still wouldn’t be.
A few months ago, a family member not to be named said to me, shortly after I shared insight into my own sexuality, that “kids these days,” — and yes, she used that phrase — ”just try on genders to get attention, a she one day, a he the next,” that they’re “becoming trans because families don’t eat dinner together anymore.”
I can’t make this shit up.
So close your eyes
And feel the light
You shine like a sun
Shine like a sun
Young gun
See how far you’ve come
As of two weeks ago, the Trump campaign has spent over $65m on anti-trans ads. On Fox and Friends, Trump said, “No transgender, no operations. You know, they take your kid. There are some places, your boy leaves the school, comes back a girl. Without parental consent. What is that all about?”
Think about that for a moment, please. Public schools can barely afford books, but somehow they’re funding transitions. But beyond that, to believe that you leave at 8:00am as a boy and come home at 3:30pm as a girl is a special level of ignorance. Perhaps Trump knows it’s absurd, but it’s quite clear his audience does not.
Problem is, it’s not just Trump and his cult of bigoted cronies. Anti-trans rhetoric is everywhere these days. When the Algerian boxer Imane Khelif competed for Women’s Gold at the Summer Olympics, it wasn’t just that bloviating mouthpieces like JK Rowling and Elon Musk challenged her gender, or that even after proven wrong they failed to apologize, it’s that we normalized the question at all. What difference does it make? I’d bet every dollar I’ll ever make that neither Musk or Rowling watched a women’s sporting event before, or after, that moment. It was never about sports at all.
To think that someone would transition to simply compete in a sport is not just dehumanizing, it’s rooted in the same sort of ignorance implied in Trump’s comments: that there’s no process involved, no pain, no legitimacy to the inner emotional life of that person. It’s also clear they’ve never spent the time to get to know anyone who has ever questioned their gender.
And this isn’t just a right wing issue, either. Bill Maher spends half of his weekly episodes making transphobic jokes and blaming our current political climate on the Left’s simple expressions of empathy and acceptance. Netflix pays millions to half-assed comedians who make the most vulnerable amongst us the target of future hate crimes.
When there’s a school shooting, the right wing “news organizations” immediately target the transgender community, despite knowing all too well that it’ll be a conservative white boy.
You were hiding down
Where you almost drowned
Then a light like yours
You can’t put out
You shine like a sun
Shine like a sun
Young gun
As soon as Roe was overturned, the Republicans needed another topic to feed their Christian guppies. Don’t get me wrong, the queer and trans community has always been the target of political hatred. This isn’t new, but it’s playing an outsized role in this election cycle because it’s easy bait for the small-minded and under-educated, a simple distraction tactic that works every time.
According to the FBI, anti-LGBTQ+ hate crimes were up 13.8% based on sexual orientation and 32.9% in reported hate crimes based on gender identity. And that was for 2022. I can only imagine what the increases will look like for the past 18 months, as political rhetoric has grown exponentially.
But those statistics just cover what’s been recorded, not what’s felt prior to, during, and after transition. The bullying and vile political rhetoric dehumanizes and minimizes the internal struggle. It adds layers and layers of shame and fear to what is already a psychologically painful experience. According to a study out of UCLA, 81% of transgender adults in the U.S. have thought about suicide, 42% of transgender adults have attempted it, and 56% have engaged in non-suicidal self-injury over their lifetimes.
And yet, by all measures, transition regret is microscopic—around 1%—which strongly suggests that despite the cultural backlash, those who transition are happier. Military vet and trans activist, Charlotte Clymer, says it best: “I genuinely hope that… anti-trans folks someday experience the joy and liberation of being comfortable in your own skin enough to know that the liberation of others is no threat to you. Equality is not a pie; there is more than enough for everyone.”
So run down the mountains
Run down the hills of your dream
You are everything
You have everything you need
So run down the mountains
Run down thе hills of your dreams
Who are we? How did we become this way? I’m not religious, but I went to Church as a kid and there ain’t no version of Jesus in the Bible that would be okay with this horror.
The good news is trans artists are thriving in pop culture, helping to normalize their lived experience through storytelling. Torrey Peters’ novel, Detransition Baby, was a critical and commercial hit, despite it’s literary complexity. Anohni, Ethel Cain, Against Me! and SOPHIE span musical genres, and shows like Transparent — despite the Jeffrey Tambor miscast — and Euphoria have introduced the complexities of the trans experience to large audiences. This year’s indie hit, I Saw the TV Glow, is a trans and gender dysphoric allegory with one of my favorite soundtracks ever, directed by transfeminine filmmaker Jane Schoenbrun.
And allies are also speaking louder, telling stories, and making art. Will Ferrell’s Will & Harper documents road trips with his trans best friend. Former NBA star Dwayne Wayne and actress Gabrielle Union started a transgender youth support community inspired by their daughter, and have expanded their funding into documentary films.
Yesterday, Sade Abu released her first song in six years for Red Hot Organization’s Transa compilation. Any new Sade music is worthy of a holiday, but Young Lion is particularly special. Heartbreaking, intimate, too fucking beautiful for words, the song is an apology to her trans son Izaak, who now thrives despite everything the world has thrown his way.
In response to the song, Izaak said publicly, “Though there was nothing I needed to forgive her for, the lyrics ‘Forgive me, son, I should have known,’ struck a chord,” he said. “My mum never tried to oppress the boy; I silently always knew I was. She always let me be me.”
And that’s what we should all be doing, for fuck’s sake: let each of us just be who we are. I’m sure I’ve messed up in a million little ways over the years as a parent. Impatient, preoccupied, dismissive. It’s impossible to be a perfect parent all the time in life’s smallest moments, but damn, I hope one day he says to me what Izaak said to Sade: “He always let me be me.”
Feel the light
Shine likе a sun
Young gun
See how far you’ve come
~
Start following the #365Songs playlist today, and listen to each new song with each new article!
